“The idea of perfect womanhood is perfect independence”
What happens when you marry off a 16-year-old urban girl, who has never had to do so much as wash a plate, married into a rural family where she is expected to single-handedly manage the entire household? Moreover, what happens when her in-laws begin to harass her for not paying a sufficient dowry? Well, in Asha’s case, the girl emerges from the situation as a strong, independent woman who narrates her heart-wrenching story with a heart-warming smile.
Even before she had graduated from middle school, Asha was engaged to a man she had never met earlier. She was informed that she was to move into a strange village, in a strange state with a strange language, and live in the company and service of complete strangers.
“On the first night I spent in the family, they emptied my suitcase and distributed all my clothing amongst themselves. Even though my parents had paid a dowry well beyond their means, my mother in-law was not satisfied. She locked me in my room in a fit of rage and forbade anyone from talking to me. I cried all night.”
For the first two years of Asha’s married life, her husband was working in a different city. “Those were the most challenging years of my life.” She recounts spending endless days working tirelessly, without exchanging a word with another person. “Even those who offered help were sent away by my mother in law.” She recalls.
One afternoon Asha’s husband returned with devastating news – he had lost his job, the only steady source of income for the family.
The whole family was shattered. Asha realized that this was her opportunity to find a place not only in her family but her society as well.
Although it took a great deal of convincing, Asha’s husband agreed when she proposed that the couple should migrate to Delhi. Asha knew this was her only chance to alter her fate.
In Delhi, Asha found employment before her husband did.
She was now working as a Housekeeper, using the little she earned to support her family. It was eventually Asha who found her husband a job. Together they began earning enough to afford urban living. Soon they had children, for whose education Asha saved every penny she could.
Today, Asha hopes to establish her own business in tailoring. She has a come a long way from being the outcast of the family to being its greatest source of pride. What is most remarkable is that Asha has no hard feelings. “ My ambition arose from my internal rebellion. For that, I’m only grateful to my husband’s family. “